Cur Hic Statis

And the Oscar goes to...

2006-03-30T22:41:00.000-08:00

Hey sorry, was suffering from Tennis Elbow so was not able to think. You might know it better as the writer's block, and I suffer from it quite often. Anyways I had spent my last month pretty well. In the IT capital of the world in the age of multiplexes(and being a jobless software professional) you would not miss an opportunity of 50 rupees for a movie ticket. After the Oscars I had plenty to watch.

When you are eating popcorn from your friends crotch, you are mistaken to be gay and especially while watching Brokeback Mountain. I had plenty of eyes staring at me during the movie. I even heard two middle aged women, who were quite desperate, saying "This should be interesting". Brokeback is about two gay cowboys in the '60s in the Americas. Ang Lee the Crouching Tiger fame, has done a good job, cos it is difficult convincing to men to kiss and do more just for the Oscars. He deserved the Oscar he won since it is always difficult carrying a story like that, when almost every audience frown at a thought of gay men. But Ang Lee keeps the audience comfortable by using breathtaking shots of the mountains. But apart from the jokes I think it was a well made movie, it did save the face of the actors. Only the audience have to be careful, since I was shit-scared going to the loo even after drinking a litre of pepsi.

Brokeback did not win the oscars for the best movie, since Crash just gate-crashed the awards with a brilliant story. It was a brilliant movie that revolves around people in the LA. It shows the horrible truth of the discrimination and the hatred of people in the modern America. It shows in black and white how much the Americans are frightened about their neighbourhood. Maybe America was a paradise, the new world and everything. But this is what a human civilization can culminate to, an irony in development. Crash made everyone in the cinema hall feel pity for them.

You feel sorry for the cop whose mother thinks that he killed his brother. He had no time for the family, and he did not have any regard for human feelings. You see a statesman worried more about his post and just wants to use a black man for winning votes. You see two car thieves redeem themselves. You see a young cop in fear kill a man, who meant no harm. You see a cop save a woman from an accident, who he had harassed a night before. You see a child who saves his father from a gun shot. You see a foreigner wanting to kill a man because he had fixed his door. No matter how different people are, because of the colour, creed, nationality or religion they are united in fear, because everyone thinks that their savior is the .91mm that they carry.

Well the oscars this year showed the real world. Brokeback Mountain made people think about the different human feeling. It ridiculed the society for its assumptions of the human relations. It ridiculed the western society for believing that rationality is a better way to build a society than culture. Crash showed what would a civilization come become if do not trust the fellow human being. After all we all are human beings.

Take Care.

To Unlearn is to Learn

2006-01-15T20:47:00.000-08:00

It has been almost 3 months since I last wrote a blog. I had been a little busy as I was going through a transition of becoming a Working Professional Engineer. This is the culmination of all these years of hard work, through school and professional education. At last somebody has put trust in my capabilities and has offered me a job. I am now in this whole new world of the software industry, where every second child born in India finds itself in. I am now amidst all the glamour, lifestyle and money that the IT industry in India boasts about.

All these years of schooling the one lesson I learnt was that I have to work and work hard. To become an effective communicator, performer, achiever and leader and all that every other person in this world has become or thought of becoming. We were told that we are the future of this great nation, we have to work hard to get the nation to the top. Therefore I thought I would be a savior, a Gandhi or someone. I had great dreams that I would be part of, and be a contributor to things that would allow our society to grow. And this industry plays a prime role in it, and I thought I am on the right track.

Well, what have I really understood in the small stay in this world? The one lesson I have learnt and which is the truth is that this Industry, or for that matter any other is just a huge illusion. As I walk through my office there is a big hoarding, which says "To Unlearn is to Learn". Now I know why it was put there. I am now unlearning all that I was taught about. I dont need to work hard really, because I am not the saviour that this country is looking for.

This doesnt mean that here in this world nobody works. On the contrary we do a lot of work. This whole world is well planned and organised that there are people to do all the work that you need to do. We are being piled on with so much work, that we can engage ourselves for the rest of our lives doing nothing, while others do it for you. This may seem idiotic, but there were lot of brains involved and a lot of man years that were put into formulating this concept.

There is a whole bunch of people still convincing laymen about the use of we Software Engineers. They get whole lot of new projects, which need a lot of use of what is already there, so that nothing need to be worked upon. We develop Resource Management Systems for housewives to keep track of all the grocery that is available in their refrigerators. We improve the communications tools, for example video conferencing tools for the Blind Men International. Oops!... I just broke a company policy.

Need to run, to the pantry to a catch cup of coffee. Just, dont tell anyone about the leak of information.

Thank You.

The Cinema Paradise

2005-10-16T23:20:00.000-07:00

A Victorian style house facing the sea, a Hollywood big-shot’s bungalow. The camera pans as you sit awed watching the walls of the Bungalow glow in the morning sunlight. Beautiful marble statues of semi-dressed women by the side of the pool make you want to touch them. The camera enters a big bedroom with its windows adorned with silk drapes. In the centre of the room a huge bed, with the big-shot sleeping, like a child in his mother’s arms. He wakes up and turns around sleepily. Suddenly he startles awake like he had wetted his pants. He removes the blanket to see himself covered with blood and by his side is his favourite horse Khartoum’s head. This is a very famous scene from the movie The Godfather. The power and the brutality of the protagonist pictured like a romantic poem.

The movies have always made me feel like a child. Watching the colours on the screen come alive and listening intently to every word hushed, like a small kid listening to his grandfather telling the story of a ghost. The cinema has scared me, made me laugh aloud, made me feel proud and has made me cry. The Art of story telling is a great art as one gives oneself completely to the people who listen. The art of Cinema takes it a step ahead.

When the feather jumps and twists and travels with the wind in the opening scenes of Forrest Gump, when the noise of the commotion after Gandhi’s assassination is muted by a compelling song in Hey Ram and when the beautiful sun rises on the Sahara as a lone rider in a camel moves by in Lawrence of Arabia, I have felt every nerve in me wake up. When the hero, dressed only in his underpants and a gun in hand, grins with pride when arrested after killing a man in American History X, I have felt my bones shiver. When the Ugly runs wild in a vast cemetery, the cameras run and turn frantically and the Ecstasy of Gold playing behind, searching for the treasure in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, I have gasped for breath. When the man watches a video he took in his youth of his love who he never had, in Cinema Paradiso, I have blushed.

I have memorized countless dialogues from movies. The favourite of all is the one Samuel L. Jackson says in Pulp Fiction:
‘The path of the Righteous Man is beset in all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of Evil Men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the week through the valley of Darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. You will know my name is the Lord, when I lay my vengeance upon thee.’[Ezekiel 25:17]
The opening dialogue in Trainspotting hangs in my room. The closing lines of which is my punch line, ‘Choose Future. Choose Life.’ I sing the song from Alavanthaan with the same drugged-lunatic feel.

But Cinema sometimes says more than its dialogues. A beautiful love story is told without many words in Lost in Translation. When the old man wants to see his house being built in Veedu, just see the shot when he leaves his slippers outside before setting foot on the incomplete house, it will bring a smile of joy. Just watch the curtains go up in the Opera to reveal the grandeur of the stage, and when the camera ignores it and moves on to say more, in Citizen Kane. Father and son in the last scenes of The Bicycle Thieves, their expressions tell the agony of poverty. The son watching his father supposedly playing a game with a Nazi soldier in Life is Beautiful is just beautiful. No Man’s Land’s climax with its dilemma about the war was a class act.

Watch the eyes of Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman, Jack Nicholas’s eyes in the climax of A Few Good Men and Tim Robbins’s eyes in his last day in prison in The Shawshank Redemption, if that is not magic nothing is. Watch Shivaji’s eyes in Devar Magan asking his son to stay, that is a phenomenon.

Let me stop here, as I do not want to dilute my passion for movies by telling too much. I know that any amount of words used will not recreate the magic of the movies. Just tell me if you felt the same way when you watched them.

Take Care.

Zen and the Art of being a Couch Potato

2005-10-11T01:46:00.000-07:00

I have spent many hours sitting on my couch watching television. From Shakthiman the desi-superhero to the Medical Detectives, including the tele-shopping network, I have watched everything. It is a tough job being a couch potato; it demands a lot of discipline and hard work. But the fruits of the labour are plenty.

It was not pretty in the early days when we had an old TV at home. I had to get up and run to my television to change the channels. Even the basic privileges like channel browsing were not provided to this humble couch-potato. But then the new TV came, with its powerful remote control. Now I browse channels with James Bond like skill. I can do the Mohammed Azharuddin’s backhand-flick style, Rajnikanth’s behind-the-back-under-the-left-arm-pit style, or the Darth Vader’s swashbuckling-laser-saber style all sitting down, the benefits of technology to every couch-potato. Now I call myself King Couch Potato.

With the remote in hand you can play God. If you hate someone you can delete them with flick of the wrist. I hate the MTV VJ’s and I terminate them by simply changing the channel. But I have failed a lot of times when I have tried to terminate one person. Whenever there is commercial break you listen to a very familiar voice, it is the ‘Big @##$%@* B’. You muster strength to sit through that commercial but then comes another one and then another. You change the channel and he screams Kaun Banega Crorepathi DwithEEEY. Man I sweat ‘cos this guy scares me. The only reprieve now is to change to Doordharshan, they won’t even spend money for commercials.

Sometimes I feel like the true God. Since I know when it rains in Timbuktu or Kalhasa, or when it shines in Vladivostok, as BBC tells me beforehand. Only I cannot know when it rains here in Trichy. Apart from TV I have tried a few other things, like the video games. I have spent hours gawking at Lara Croft. Make her run or jump a little. But I never liked them as they require a lot more physical work.

I have pondered about a lot of things while watching television like a Zen Master. Have you ever wondered why all men in all Home Improvement Programs have girlish characteristics or why all women tennis players can never hide their nipples? And I do not know why all the celebrities write books. If you didn’t notice I will tell you a fact. All female celebrities write children’s books like Madonna, and all male celebrities write their autobiography, like Freddie Flintoff. He has just bowled few good overs and hit few sixes and now he writes a story of his life so far.

Maybe I should author a book of my own some day. I will call it And all that...Burp!: a true life experience of a Couch Potato.

Take care.

The Call

2005-09-30T00:59:00.000-07:00

Little by little the time runs out,
Shadows lengthen even for the mighty;
Swords and shields fall, to the ground,
Weak wings soar no more...

After all the sweat in search of thee
And all the fight you find out why.
You gather strength and courage to try
Only to fall to your knees and cry.

As little by little time runs out,
Swords and sheilds fall to the ground
Heaven had called for the final say,
And yet you want one more day....

The Brigade Road Mystery

2005-09-27T01:52:00.000-07:00

I and my brother entered a Shopping Mall on Brigade Road, Bangalore. A father and son flung themselves onto the elevator which took them to the next floor. But the mother stood still on the foot steps of the elevator. She was shaken and scared to put her foot on the elevator. Beside her there was a boyish man with long legs and long hair, standing with his hands on the railing. His highly evolved thumb, was dancing over his cell phone’s keys. He had his hair coloured and had piercing on his ears and near the eyebrows, reminiscent of the ones you see in Ripley's Believe It or Not. He is a kind of a person who is famously described by the word dude.

There are a lot of these dudes and dudettes on the Brigade road. As I was walking through I felt as though I was in the land of Martians or I was caught in the traffic of the famous Mardi gras Festival. Every one of them on the Brigade road looked the same to me. They all smelt of the same perfume and everyone wore the Unisex version of the same brand. These are not the Indians you are shown on the National Geographic’s Incredible India. There you get to see only the Sanyasis, the Haridwar, the Ganges and the Monkeys.

For a small town simple man like me, Brigade road is a fantasy. I smell only of my sweat. I am my brother’s recycle bin. What he litters, I wear. When you have a brother who earns fifty grand a month and you have nothing on you, window shopping is what you can do. But sometimes I force myself to ask my brother ‘Anna, ennaku athu…?’ He will look at me with a stare which means ‘Shut your brains, or I will yank the shit out through your mouth’. That wouldn’t taste nice. So I turn to gaze at the folks of Brigade road.

I wonder where these people come from. What do they talk about, where do they go? They talk about MTV in an Eminem accent. The Soap Operas, the Designer clothes, fitness and physique is their way of life. There was a beautiful little girl selling single roses who everybody didn’t see. Every one of them kept walking along with the crowd.

Suddenly my brother says ‘This pub is famous for its gay people’. Hello, like I needed that. He takes me to a book shop shows two books from a distance, and then walks me to a coffee shop. The Coffee Shop hosted a local Jazz Band. They played Miles Davis or Coltrane I didn’t know. But it was great. We sat there sipping on our Cappuccinos. But both of us would have preferred strong filter coffee in stainless steel tumlar and davaraa.

Well I am back in time inhaling the sands of Trichy’s roads. But those folks on the Brigade road still puzzle me. If I am confused, they seem to be more confused. Hey I didn’t tell you, I am going to Bangalore to start my career next month. Probably I will solve the mystery of the origins of these dudes and dudettes then.

Take care.

...and I became an Engineer

2005-09-09T01:31:00.000-07:00

I want to take you all through the education that I received. The first institution that everybody enrolls in is the family, my mother, father and most importantly my brother. It is a tough job being a younger child. My brother did everything that parents would expect from their child. It has been tough for me, as I have tired hard to be what they expected me to be.

The first school I joined did not have a romantic name; it was Kasi Chettiar High school. I remember the green shorts and white shirt, and that the whole school was crammed into the living room of Mr. Kasi Chettiar's big bungalow. It was a co-ed school but I did not learn anything interesting there. I had a girl-friend who would take me to school in her bicycle, since I didn’t know how to ride one. I have few pictures of a Christmas day play. I was Joseph and the principal's daughter was Mary and we gave birth to Jesus. But I didn’t have a role to play there you know since Jesus was the son-of-god! Importantly I was studying 3rd standard.

Then I joined Campion High for my higher education. Campion was an Anglo-Indian institution. The place where I learnt to take pride in being a Gentleman and to belong to and uphold the culture of Campionties. It was a wonderful place where every student was addressed to as Gentleman. Justice was done immediately, it was cane shots for anything you did or didn’t. In Campion I learnt why I was fortunate in not having big buttocks. Campion was a place where opportunities were plenty. You could do what you wanted to. Sports and curriculum and expressive arts were given equal status. But unfortunately I didn’t score enough marks to continue to be a Campionite.

For my Higher Secondary I went to the century year old E.R. High school. The real name of the school would scare you; it was Edayatrumangalam Rengaswamy Iyer High school. I was part of a class with more than hundred students. It’s a place where the poor and the rich, the mean and the smart, the ugly and the beautiful, the strong and the weak, the bold and the coward were all part of the crowd. But unfortunately you wouldn't have met all of them.

E.R. gave me a glimpse of everything you can expect in this world. There were power mongers, there was segregation, there was bias, and there were hard workers and lazy whiners. It was a place which had a tradition which was 100 years old. Mostly of clogged water tanks, toilets where you can wet others pants, and class rooms which had a sample of every fart that had been since the world dawned. E.R. is genuine antique!

Then I joined a very confused institution for my engineering. It didnt know if it was a College, an Academy or a University. To become a graduate was a breeze in here. I was taught by novice teachers who would give me the material, the questions and the marks. Here the education I had was not the physics or maths but the people I met. I made good friends. Sorry, I didn’t tell you the name of the institution it was Shanmugha Arts Sience Technology and Research Academy, Deemed to be University. Well what the heck I became an engineer.

Take Care.

Trichy, what has become of you...

2005-08-31T00:37:00.000-07:00

Trichy, what a wonderful place. Every corner of Trichy has a history attached to it. It has been a part of some great moments in the Indian History. It was the capital of the Chola Dynasty. It had great palaces of kings adorned with the great thinkers of those times. It has huge temples which are architectural wonders. It has a temple which is surrounded by two rivers making it an island. One is the river Cauvery and other a man-made. It has another temple on a Rock hill. It was famous for its rich rice fields and great gardens with huge mangoes and coconuts.

During the British Raj, it became the centre of the freedom struggle in the South. There were important battles fought here. One such, made famous by a young general of the East India Company named Robert Clive, whose regiment was held back by the famous Main Guard Gate. Trichy was famous to the Rich people of Britain for its Cigars. Winston Churchill almost always was sucking on the Trichy's. Before the British whites left they named the roads after their generals and sometimes with the synonyms of the word road. There are roads called The East Boulevard, The West Boulevard and The Promenade. When freedom finally came Trichy was poised to become one of the important cities of modern India.

Almost sixty years after the Independence, Trichy hasn’t quite changed. Apart from its now famous two rupee chocolate ice creams at the Michael’s. If every corner of Trichy had a History, nowadays every corner has a Naganathar Tea Stall. It is just another average town where people can stick bubble-gum under the table in public places.

Today it is surrounded by a lot of colleges and schools, to which aspiring clerks and engineers from all over India come to study. The natives with their dhotis raised above their knee adorn the Big Bus Stands, squatting on their haunches barely covering their innards. The young fashionable Trichiites insert their polyester shirts into their denim trousers which have pleats, with the zipper half way. They are all free to litter the roads of Trichy once named by the British. Of course the roads have been renamed. The above mentioned roads are now The East Boulevard Road, The West Boulevard Road and The Promenade Road.

In Trichy a half hour trip in the auto-rickshaw would cost you all your week’s allowance. There is only one traffic rule, IF YOU FIND SPACE FILL IN. Driving through most roads will give you a feeling that Trichy is in the middle of the Sahara because there is a lot of sand. Almost always the mercury sits pretty at 40 degree celsius.

If you find this write up interesting, you are welcome to Trichy any time. It will be my pleasure to be your host.

Confucious Me or Confused Me

2005-08-22T02:15:00.000-07:00

I am from a family of part Orthodox Brahmins and part Modern Indians. I think we belong to the confused middle class Indians, who want climb this modern world ladder with the big baggage of the old traditions. My mom and dad read well and prayed a lot. I have a brother also well read and prays a lot. But me not well read and doesnt pray at all.

My parents always were thankful to the God. They tried hard and achieved their academic goals. At the end they believed it was god almighty who was kind on them. I was introduced to a whole fleet of gods. The Hindus have an army of gods, if you didnt know. Every god has a special power. If you want something pray a particular god. But at the same time I was scolded for not doing my homework. The idea of Praying to Lord Saraswati to finish my homework didnt work. I remember spending a lot of time in my class either kneeling down or standing on the bench.

My parents were always strict, they expected me to offer the gods my services everyday. Well I did offer services, now it is more of a habit for me to apply the Vibuthi every morning. But through my education I developed my own philosophy, may be it was because of the people I was with. I became an atheist, but I tell you it is more of a fashion these days if you talk about atheism. At times I became very religious, climbing the famous Rockfort temple.

Everytime I sit before the TV. I see a lot of the mordern day Envangelists luring people to God Jesus. I see the Modern Muslims giving up their life for their Lord Allah. I see the Jews fighting for their sacred homeland. I see the Discovery channel talking about the latest theory in Physics. It supposedly can prove everything that was and that will be, may be even god. The best selling book of all-time is book that ridicules the faith of billions of people around the world. And over that the Philosopies of the mordern world.

But my education and the TV taught me about all the religion and philosophy that existed the Hinduism, the Buddhism, the Rationalism,the Existentialism, the Celebrity-livingism, the Reality-TVism, the drugs-and-sex, the cheese-burger-and-mozzerella-pizza, the cigars and anti-aging, the Bikni-beaches, the alternate-living, the homosexualism and more.

But wait I am still in Trichy where people still think that TVS50 is the only mode of transport, the dosai and idli are the staple diet and good college education qualifies you as a good bride-groom prospect. So God or no God, whatever philosophy you believe in, Confucious or confused; get your hands off my dosa....

Thank you for coming...

2005-08-15T07:35:00.000-07:00

My writing skills are very limited. I promise that I will do my best to keep this blog readable. This blog will mostly contain my perception of life. Everything here is open to discussion. I will try to be regular in updating this blog. Whenever you find time comeback to this page. Thank You.

I ask all you readers to drop in your comments.

Why do you stand at all?

2005-08-13T02:44:00.000-07:00

Did I tell you what I wanted to become in life.

When I received my first comic book, I wanted to be TINTIN, then OBELIX(I dont know why OBELIX and not ASTERIX). Then SUPERMAN, BATMAN and soon every other super hero. By this time my mirror image would look like a cheese ball with round spectacles. When Cartoon Network came I wanted to be JOHNNY QUEST and then SWAT KATS. I didnt want to be DEXTER because thats how I looked.

I remember those english movies I was taken to by my father. They were all martial arts movies, JACKIE CHAN, JET LI all produced by the Amrithraj Brothers. I would come back home and jump off my dad's scoother as though it was speeding car. Make sounds like drunken kung-fu master.I would hit my borther with all the brute force that I could manage. Only to be thrown down by my brother
nonchalantly. Then end up under my mom's arms, crying.

Every Independence day there was an overdose of freedom struggle and patriotism on TV. I would've seen the movie GANDHI once every year. I never wanted to be a freedom fighter. I saw myself as GENERAL DIAR. Then it was Discovery Channel with science specials. The Black holes and super novas. Then I wanted to be an ASTROPHYSCIST(the Dexter in me came up with that idea).

Then I took a detour with my plans for my future. The rock music in my head made me believe that I would instantly become a Rock Star. Playing guitar, Singing Rock Anthems, Smoking coke, kissing girls, wearing torn jeans and nobody complaining. In college we started a rock band and went nowhere with it.

These were the glamourous things I wanted to do. There were other less glamourous and strange fantasies. I wanted to be a bus conductor once, because he was the first person I saw with lot of cash at a single time. He could show off all his money without a fuss. I wanted to steal my neighbours video game. I wanted to start a secret society to terrorize trichy. I wanted to be a hitchhiker, travelling the world on others back. But the truth is I can never be whatever I think of because I dont get off the couch. The TV occupies most of my time.

I am 21yrs old. I have gone through all those preliminary things that are mandatory. Like the primary school, high school, professional education,and all with 70% or above. Else you will be looked down upon as though you have not grown more than 3 feet. I did not want that embarasment so I did all that. Now I got myself a job, I will get paid very cheap for the rest of my life. Interestingly I never wanted to be a Software engineer. But that is what I am going to be in another three months.

Now why should you stand at all...

Why Do Ye Stand Here?

2005-08-11T06:31:00.000-07:00

Why Do Ye Stand Here? I have no clue what I am doing on Planet Earth.

Let me tell you about myself. I am by birth a South Indian. I have lived almost all my life in the town of dirt, water and hot sun, Trichirapalli alias Trichy. I have not ventured more than 50kms from this place. But that does not mean I am a nerd who does not know the ways of this world. (Do I know?!!)

When you are born in India, you have one extra component in your DNA. It is Cricket. Whether you like it or not, you will love the game. I am a cricket fan by birth, I can play a picture perfect straight drive without hitting the ball anytime of the day. Why I do that? When I was born the first ornament I was presented with were thick glasses. So every time I play the ball, I only see a paralax image of it.

I won a lot speaking competitions in my primary school days. All of it were written by my father, I memorised and vomitted. But I knew nothing. But then in my eighth standard, my home had a new cable connection. I tell you, what I know of this world is from TV. I would sit with my grandma and watch anything that is dished out on TV. Cartoon Network was a god sent gift. Those days I believed everyone of them to be real. My grandma still thinks that Rajnikanth can see her and he is talking to her. Everytime there is a replay in a cricket match, my grandma thinks time had slowed down. But at some point I learnt what happens in TV may not be real. I am scared now, cos I do not know what life would turn out to be.

I have been living a simple life, now I am ready to venture out of this place. I have finished my engineering and got a job. Let me see how this reality different from TV...